soul searching

So i guess i had to write these to help clear out some of the thoughts in my head... give me feed bck plz


Im stuck in this place between pain and pleasure
Every time she’s by my side there’s no feeling better
Yet she drives me insane with her constant nagging
Telling me how to live and how much time is passing
As I sit here in my room and live life secluded
Keeping distant from the world, no longer included
In society that she lives in, im in my own world
Filled with my dreams of success as a track runner
While surrounded with the goals to be the best tech
Makin money in the future, but now I have to stress
And live my life the best I can until my mission’s complete
And I’m the genius Olympian I dreamt to be.
But she brings me to reality everytime she’s around
Telling me how much she loves me but steady bringin me down
Keeping me confused , Unsure what to do
Should I leave her or keep her this decision keeps me stuck
In a state of delusion
Calamity, of the mind
Unfocused and wary, but ill b fine
But I'm Keeping my eyes focused, tunnel vision
Narrowing down each and every decision
Until I find the right path that makes me smile
And I hope you there with me so its all worthwhile.
-the righteous path


This disease has gotten worse as the generations pass
Lies increasing in this world, a true sign of weakness
Visions have be blurred due to the constant lies
So reality now distorted in the eyes of the youth
And the previous generation has no clue what to do
So they continue to live lies and pipe dreams they imagined
Causing the younger ones to follow blind and naïve as ever
Killing me inside to see such pain
As I see my loved ones stuck in this state
I wish I could eliminate the deception in this world
So the truth remained alone, the lone wolf of the world
But alas, life has not deemed me with such powers
I am but a simple man who observes and assist with each problem
Hoping that I can cure each being one by one
And that this chaos of lies will one day be undone
-Fabrications

INSOMNIA

Late night/early morning writing.... maybe i can get sleep now..... read and comment

No longer able to sleep at night for reason’s unknown
So I sit around alone and I begin to ponder
Thinking about the my goals and my dreams and my ambitions in life
Where I’ve been, where I’m at, where I’m going later in life
Insomnia is my disease and it’s causing me to think
About the path that I’ve chosen, is it really meant for me?
Am I to continue down this road to achieve my acclaimed greatness?
To reach my goals I put forth, is this current focus?
The more Questions that appear the longer I’m awake
And as each different situation arrives my mind becomes more awake
Each feeding each other causing me to never fall asleep
My body getting weaker from this lack of rest
Feeling less superhuman now my strength may be at its peak…
My pattern in life is screwed, no longer the norm
There is no end to the questions in sight, only one option right now
I have to search deep within to find the issue at hand
To conquer this feeling inside that keeps me awake
So that my body can finally recover, regain some energy once more
And my brain can rest as I regain my clear picture of the future in my mind
-insomnia
b.Jonez

my soul

hey another one for my lovely followers ... i think yall will like this one ... please leave some feedback i need to know what you think thanks and love yall
I continue to think of what could have been
Of the time we could have spent
Of the live I thought were meant
To be between me and you
Every thought that I had gave me hope with you
And I assumed that you felt the same
The love that we shared had me so amazed
I was shocked I thought I found my other half in you
And it had me so happy, you were my soul food
You kept me whole, complete no longer empty
When you said “I love you” my heart skipped a beat
Thought I was gonna die when you said that because of what u meant to me
You had me dreaming about a female, I feel like such a fool
Because now I feel that you said that with no meaning boo
Now my heart has this gap, this pain inside
And no medicine in this world could relieve my hurt
I just wanted to be with you, to make u happy love
But I see im not good enough to be in your world
I’m just another nigga I guess, in your eyes
I said I would but I guess that’s not what you want
Your free spirit can’t be contained you want to explore some more
And it kills me to think of anyone else by your side
But if it makes you happy then I must oblige
And allow you to live how you want to live
Guess I’ll watch from the side as you do you
My heart is now so empty and it’s starting to show
I isolate myself from the world because I see no point
To be around people that just may hurt me again
I’ll just stay alone and contemplate things
Try to figure out the path that I’m meant to take
What is my point in life, what is my life’s goal?
I’ll continue to live this way till I find someone
Who can fill the void that you left behind.
-lonely soul

happiness

Yea this is a long one.. but im sure you all will like it .... please read


The clothes that I wear run you away...
Or maybe the way I wear my hair out keeps u away
Could be the ‘me’ in general makes u not want to stay?
Whatever it is u can’t explain why u no longer feels me
Why your vibes have changed so hard when u thinks about me
Things seemed to go so well but I guess I was deceived
To thing a woman great as you would want to be seen with me
Guess I’m not up to Ur standards, Ur material ones
My sweats and my shoes aren’t the best ones
But I like how I live and I thought u did too
You love the way I write and my skills and my brains
You said I was kind of cute and my body was fine
But I just don’t match your style when it comes to being seen
Your clothes game is on top, never slacking wit your footwear
While I struggle to get new things, always the same sweats but I don’t care
It didn’t bother you as much since I told u I’m an athlete
And that I work out every day, so you thought it was needed
Guess it was too much for you though, to be seen with me
To been seen with a ‘bum’ who was ‘dressed’ to be seen
Whose hair was just too much and you wanted it off
But I told you that I couldn’t its part of my life
Yea I was just messing but I was serious too
But you took it to heart that I wasn’t including you
Which is absurd because you were the one in my eyes
All I could think of, you were just so right
But I guess I wasn’t for you, since I wouldn’t conform to your ways
The demands to do so much when I was tired from working so hard
U called me lazy for just lying there, like I wasn’t tired at all
Like I didn’t just spend 8 hrs. Working plus practice, no I’m not tired at all
I force myself up just to go spend time with you, walking the mall holding you bags and buying things for you
Just to keep u happy when u ask for my company, I know it’s not much so I do it with you
Whatever you need me too, I try my best to do
Which leaves me so confused, so baffled right now
Why is it you no longer feel for me if I did everything for you?
Is it cuz I couldn’t keep up in the way I dress myself
Or is it cuz I kept my hair when u asked me to cut it off
I just don’t understand… how you could just leave me so alone
I thought you were the one things were going so right
But I guess it’s my naivety when it comes to being with someone
How I can’t read between the lines, guess that caused my downfall
Well back to being alone….the life im so used to…
The life of me myself and I, my music and my writings
The only things that keep me sane in this chaotic world…
Till I find someone who accepts me, for just being me
-questforhappiness

transformation

Honestly i dont think many people will like this one but i put everythin i write on my blog ..so read and be honest with you feedback plz
__________________________________________________________________________________

Fuck it all, I’m tired of the bullshit
Pretending to be this nice man,
façade is so foolish;
Turning back to the man that I once was,
Who just didn’t give a fuck, no matter who it was
Time to start crushing innocent souls,
Causing their minds to fold;
Succumbing to the pressure that I no longer hold
Within, darkness has taken over
The sun has been eclipsed, it’s eternally black
No light in my heart now, no longer a crack
Just an empty vessel containing one emotion, anger
Everywhere I go I cause nothing but danger
And pain, chaos and anarchy set in
To all victims in my path that’s just how it is
Just avoid me if you can cuz I’m instilling fear
Inside ya souls, destroying all that you hold dear
The once kind being is gone, no longer to be used
Corrupted by the ones close, over-abused
Has subsided within and let the beast out
Watch ya back world I have no restraints I’m causing pain, it’s the only route.
-transformation

Waiting

Hope it’s me that you miss when u change your status
Hope it’s me that’s on your mind whenever u mention “him”
Hope that I am the one that keeps you happy
Hope that I am the one that keeps u pleased
All I can do is assume that I’m doing my job.
Keep going off my vibes that I’m performing well
All I have are you emotions that you show oh so well
But like any other female you could just be playing some game
Thinking that just because u think I’m happy it’s all the same
But the truth is I can tell deep in my soul
When you’re frustrated, irritated, annoyed to a point
Where your about to lose control
And snap on the world and express to me your true emotions
Tell me why you’re hurting and why your heart is in so much pain
Because all this assuming and guessing is driving me insane
So I patiently wait for the day when you’re ready
To tell me how your heart feels, so once again it can beat steady
-B.Jones

poetry session

here are two new additions to my collection... please give me ur feed back i would like to know what u guys think

Girl I need u to keep me focus, cuz im slowly falling astray

Time moving too fast for me so there no time to play.

Need to get on my grind and keep progressing, reaching for the top

Always climbing above all others for that number one spot

But I need u by my side to keep my mind from dozing off

Wandering in the abyss of my thoughts never know when ideas will pop

Out of my head now im so sporadic,

Never moving with the normal flow of life my movements are erratic

But it’s cool cuz when you here you know just what ima do

The only female to predict my words before I say em, something I can’t do

Keeping me amazed at your focus and resolve,

Motivation to become better, so each puzzle of life I solve

You’re like my sun in the daytime and my moon at Night …

Keeping the light shining on me never out the spotlight.

It’s amazing that I found someone as right as you

Someone who can keep me from doing like other niggas do

Stay on my #gentlemen flow always ever so proper

Because of your influence I’ve matured

Becoming a better man from your support how you’ve nurtured

Me from this reckless boy to this responsible man

Doing the things that a mother cant

So I thank you for being here, being by my side.

You’re my baby, my love, my ride or die.

-faithful

As time goes on, we all go our separate ways

Pursuing our careers, our goals, our dreams start to give shape

To reality and we conform to whatever lifestyle’s best

To achieve these things and we lose some friends in the process

But with the loss of one comes another, time never stops

Hearts keep on beating in tune with our internal clock

So we continue to push forward, surpassing the past’s limits

Doing the unthinkable no longer shy or timid

Now the aggressor in life, taking initiative

To start things without question, thinking of ideas

To create new inventions for the world

No longer afraid to fail has caused so much progression

Succeeding so much but something still is missing

A whole inside that causing a gaping feeling in your heart

Forever lonely, no companion here to be apart

Of your accomplishments, everything seems so pointless

Suddenly motivation gone and your left hopeless

Time has not slowed down u missed out on so much time,

Passing up opportunities to find the one u need

To support you as the decline starts to ensue

Now confused, no longer sure of what to do

In a state of melancholy, despair is setting in

Thoughts of what could be start running through,

And you mind starts to overload from all this damn depression

One could only wonder “what if?” as you sit and ponder.

All u do is continue to write, another poetry lesson in session

my poems (old)

here are my old Poems i have written...they start from 3 years ago so no judging.... im new to this i shall start my poetry back up along with a few other incites to life... comment as u see fit.. welcome to my blog

Yea ummm....i was bored in chemistry class so i wrote a poem and my friend said it was nice so ummmm.....here it goes:

roses are red
Violets are blue
I cant think of words
to describe how i love you;
Your being is phenominal
Far surpass incredible
Everytime i see your face
i forever find myself gazing
Your mind is universal
filled wit vast sectors of knowledge
and every idea that is produces
further compliments your wisdom
You are my second half
you link my mind body and soul
So until the day i find you
I shall never be whole......
-Incomplete


as each day passes
I become more perplexed
each sunrise bringing more opportunities
and with each sunset more failures
but each failed attempt at success is enlightening
and with enlightenment comes great wisdom
because instead of living in past regrets
i must learn from them and becom stronger
never allowing myself to become physically or mentally unstable
trying my hardest to overcome every failed attempt at success
hiding my weakness from others the best i can
while displaying my strengths to over-shadow them
so i continue to live my life as an athlete
as well as a technician
to show off my strengths
while hiding those weaknesses deep within
I train and train to be the trackstar everyone wants me to be
and work and work to be the technician everyone expects me to be
but as i strive to accomplish these stressful tasks
one question remains on top in the deepest vector of my mind
is this really worth it?
Is all the working and slaving and training to please every friend really making me happy?
Am i destined to be one who works hard just to please others while constantly forgetting to keep myself happy?
lurking in the shadows of life while the rest of the world moves on...is this the path that i have chosen?
when my time on Earth ends will i just fade away in the memories of those i thought were dear to me?
As each day passes
I become more perplexed
as these question race across my mind
every hour of every day
__________________________________________________


yea i cant realli think of a proper title right now but i wrote it in a cold as car drivin to a track meet...

One step foward
three steps back,
whenever i see the finish
I fall three steps back,
No matter how much i strive
it seems barely enough to survive,

Any situation that arises
I seem ready for the challenge,
Thats my initial thought
as each problem comes my way,
But as time progresses on
my mind begins to weaken and stray,
in an eternity of idleness
never destined to change;

Placed in a complex equation
filled with a city of variables,
as a lonely constant
never destined to change;

Can this be it?
is this all im meant to be?
I cannot accept this
It cannot be the world meant for me,
So its time to make a change
time for me to become a vaiable,
but not like the rest
one independent of others,
a variable solely dependent on itself;

One step foward
Three steps back,
Whenever i see the finish
i no longer fall three steps back,
because instead of falling behind
i step foward and fly,
Finally exsposing the wings
that were hidden on my back.

_____________________________________

i just wrote it cuz i was bored.. if i tagged you i please dont feel any type of way if it doesnt apply to you .....


an eternal darkness
a body without its soul
this is life without my best
the component that makes my being whole;

It may seem like we disagree
like our bodies arent compatible
but if you look inside you'll see
that this woman is just right for me;

People spread rumors to amongst each other
about our checkered past
but we sit and laugh at one another
becuase those rumors never last;

We become jealous without a doubt
but its merely the fear of seperation
so we perform imprudent actions
out of fear and desperation;

For those who are reading this
and can relate or feel some type of way
then perhaps you should listen to your heart
and hear what it has to say;

Because it may be a possibility
that you may have found one right for you
and if you are anything like me
you have no clue what to do




this is called mystification


______________________


here are a few short poems i wrote in my phone...

You been with me from the start,
Always advising me what’s right.
You been with me through it all,
Never letting me fall.
You give me hope when all is lost,
When I can no longer believe.
Every time you come around,
I feel there is nothing I can’t achieve.
Your friendship to me is priceless,
One I value most.
Even though we are only friends,
I care about you most.
TRUE FRIEND by Brandon Jones

This is one amazing woman,
To keep my eyes only on her.
To keep my mind guessing must be her style,
Cause I never met anyone quite like her.
She is just so beautiful,
An eternal picture in my mind.
I can’t wait to get to know her,
Even though I know I have to give it more time.
The truth is that I caught feelings,
Something I just don’t do.
That’s why she must be so special,
And why I cant get her out of mind.
She called me her number 1,
And I hoped that her words were true.
Because the truth of the matter is,
She’s my number 1 too.
#1 by Brandon Jones


What is this feeling that’s coming over me?
Its too strange to describe.
It only occur when she’s around,
A dark tunnel ending with this bright light.
What is this strange feeling?
It makes me feels so good.
Its so hard to explain,
Not easily understood.
What is this strange feeling?
I have to decide between two,
Is this mere infatuation,
Or can this be more,
Can you feel it to?
CONFUSION by Brandon Jones

All of this pain and pressure,
Why is it resting solely on me?
It feels like everyone’s hopes and dreams all depend on me.
This is too much for one human to bear so why can I withstand it?
Perhaps I am different,
Maybe I am more than just a man?
I was born with a vast amount of gifts,
Things people would kill to obtain.
This may be why its feels all hopes and dreams rest on me.
At first I couldn’t accept it,
I wanted to live as a normal stresses,
A normal life.
But I come to accept who I am,
A being of special breed.
I have come to accept the superman I was meant to be.
HERO by Brandon Jones

The body begins to act out the erotic visions from the mind.
Temperatures begin to rise,
Bodies become aroused,
Intercourse is then ensued,
The love that has been made is sublime.
One body begins to succumb to the passion of the other,
Causing love juices to leak out,
Ever so sweet,
Oh so fine.
Seconds turn to minutes,
Minutes turn to hours,
Time is now lost as our bodies continue to intertwine in a sexual eruption.
Pleasure is absolute,
Our bodies are satisfied,
Yet exhausted.
The erotic vision of the mind has become real,
Now is the time to for rest,
As I hold on to your perfect body.
FANTASY by Brandon Jones

Thinking about life and he way things are going,
So I start to write my life away,
As if to keep the river of life flowing,
And if my hand ever stops writing my mind will keep going;
Cause its filled with vast knowledge,
Like a black hole,
Absorbing all information.
Call me sage, omniscient, ever knowing.
Skills that I acquire continue to nourish my body,
Like a mother natures her child.
Hiding my true nature to the world,
Is how it has to be.
For if anyone were to discover the truth then life would become to troublesome for someone such as I.
But lately it has become quite the bother,
Very hard to bear.
To continue to hide these gifts that I feel I should share.
This conflict has me perplexed, in a twisted vine within in my mind.
Should I hide or reveal? What should I do? This once all-knowing being, actually has no clue.
Im tearing myself apart, ripping my mind and body to shreds,
Time to awaken from this pipedream,
Time to arise from my bed
PIPEDREAM by Brandon Jones


__________________________
this poem is kinda old but i just found it so i posted it...

THings were going so well
thought that nothing could go wrong
then heaven turns to hell
the of a perfect song

My mind ends up dazed
in a state of absolute bewilderment
because situations alter so sudden
and all i am able to do is vent

Confusion is the bet suited term
to accurately describe my state of mind
any other word would seem to appear to vague
to express how i feel about this problem leaves me in a bind

Well i guess i have no choice
time to return to the man i used to know
on whose heart had become cold blooded and sad
so that everyone will leave me alone

Or perhaps that is not the answer
maybe thats a bit too severe
perhaps i should look deep inside
for the remedy so that i may persevere



________________________________________

i was bored...so i started thinkin... lemme kno how you like it

Tis' the end to another year
moving on to the summer.
Friends reunite once more
then depart home and i just wonder
how does it feel to be so far away,
from a place you lived for so long?
how does it feel once you return,
after a year of being gone.
Things can't feel the same,
something must have changed.
neighbors come and go,
friends leave so returns feel strange.
Even home doesnt feel like home,
merely a vacation from school.
your room no longer your room,
just a place to chill, be cool.
The things you did when you were younger
no longer appeal to you.
finding new forms of entertainment seems
like the only way to make it through.
Work feels like an necessity ,
so that you can prepare for your return back.
experiences from past years tell you
that money is something that you can not lack.
the trip you waited so long to take back
ends up feeling awkward.
Instead of being excited about being home
everything seems backwards
Emotions you had about returning home
have faded without your knowledge,
They now start building up about
returning to see your friends back home at college.

-Home

B.JOnes
_____________________________________________________


THis poem was dedicated to someone special to me but i been postin my poems so i just wanna see how other people like it i guess... dont ask who the person was lol

you are my shining star
in the dimmest of nights
your the engine to my car
the lift-off to my flight

you are one amazing woman
in body mind and soul
nothing that you cant withstand
because you seem to remain in control

An incredible alpha female
A woman leader of your pack
Independent woman that never fails
nothing visible that you lack

I wrote this poem for you
to express exactly how i feel
because i lack the courage to say
the vital things that i need to tell you

This poem beats any card
because it came straight from the depths of my heart
So i continue to hope and pray
That i can successfully make your day worthwhile.



usted me quiere decir tanto y lamento estropear una cosa buena que yo podría haber tenido

-HUMBLE MERCHANT (brandon Jones)



__________________________________


who is this on my Mind?
a person I can never forget
who is this female inside my head?
she has to be special to me thats a fact.
from the way she ruNs her race
to that beAutiful smile on her lil face
she must be the woman for me
none other can take her place
but why are things so complicated?
why must it be so troUblesome?
all that Should matter is Her and i,
anyone else shOuld matter none.
i feel as if i lost her,
becaUse she begins to assume and doubt,
when alL she haD to do is talk to me
no matter if she screams or shouts.
if she only knew how much i cared aBout her,
then maybE things would be fine.
But When i try to express my feelings,
she acts as If i crossed the line.
If i could show her in person how much i value her,
i'd hold her precious body in my arms and speak from my hearT
praying that tHings will go right.
I hope writing this poem can help clarify things and make them right,
this woman means so much to ME,
as important as a plant needs sunlight

necessity
b.jones


_______________________________

Three words can describe
the person that i am.
this is the way i want to be seen,
the being in which i wish to be.
Three words can describe me,
that can describe how i acquire,
the skills and knowledge that allows me to rise higher
Three words that can describe me,
as a poet and athlete,
there is no being that i feel can compete.
three words best describe me,
can be express in espanol o ingles,
representing both of my heritages to express,
the man i am percieved to be.
Three words that describe me
you'll have to translate to understand.
Tres palabras que mejor me describen
son destinado, determinado, y experto ested ve.

_________________________________


I can's believe im addicted,
I think i need a patch.
Stronger than nicotine,
Feels like im on crack.
I cant get enough of it
i need it more and more.
It has to be some drug
becuase necesity is greater than before.
When did i take this drug?
Did someone slip it into my drink
The addiction first occured around her,
causing me to reach the brink,
of disaster and pain,
This addiction is drivin me insane.
If I cant overcome this,
then I'll end up destroying my brain.
This drug is new to all,
because noone has ever heard of the symptoms.
If there ever was a cure
I really need to get some.
I think i understand now,
It seems i wasnt drugged after all.
This female is the source,
in which my addiction comes from.

B.jones


_______________________




The time has come
no time to look back.
The final moment has arrived,
confidence is not something i lack.
So many people around,
but i cant lose focus now.
Just gotta clear my mind and relax,
let my body show me how;
to do wat I need to do to accomplish my goal.
The last chance to show this world how determined I am,
How far and high this jumper can go.
I just cant be swayed,
by the emotions in my mind.
I have to stay strong,
Physically and mentally sound.
Unaware of all weakness,
they are of little concern.
Thinking of every past mistake,
each helping me to learn.
How to become a better being,
a man endowed with wisdom.
once this task is over,
my body will be able to rest with more freedom.
But now is not the time to think of the feeling of bliss i'll have.
Now is the time to prove to the world,
what kinda athlete i am.
Now is the time to focus,
no longer in a mental jam.
Time to place these spikes on my feet and attempt to reach the sky.
Running down this lonely runway,
once more spreading my elegant wings to fly.

B.Jones

___________________________________


Everyday requires more concentration to get her off my mind
trying to hide it deep inside, so that none may find'
out the truth that i cant get over you
And i just cant accept that you are over me too boo.
you treat me worse than others now, i guess to run me away
No longer keeping in contact as if you've gone astray
others may have left showing you that their feelings weren't true;
but i continue to stand my ground just to prove to you,
that how i feel about you will never waver, stagger, or fade.
They just cant simply go away.
i know you feel this way deep inside and baby its okay.
you dont have to let me kno because i will be able to tell always.
dont feel pressured or rushed baby take your time,
I'll be here for you when you need me, trust it will be fine.
Whatever decision you choose I'll remain your buddy to the end.
If you need a shoulder to cry on or someone to talk to im here to lend a hand,
even though i wanna be your man,
I'll always remain your friend

B.jones

__________________________

So Phillippe said to write some more stuff..ya kno spoken word/rhyme type stuff but i need feedback before i do anythin crazy so let me kno wat ya tink and be honest..

In deep though about what to do next
constantly pondering,eternally perplexed
like I'm caught inside a hex, a devilish curse
thinking of the right move before it gets worse
my mind is shambles, strained, overused
feels like i overdosed, call it mental abuse
guess i have no choice but to go with the flow
be patient as my body recovers, and grows
which makes me even stronger
performing even longer
setting new records, but what is this hunger?
This strange feelings that's come over me
Call me a vampire, i have to feed
overcome by this eerie desire
this strange, comforting, passionate fire
has me exploring, looking for treasure
like I'm searching for some type of pleasure
wandering around for whats right
is driving me insane, i just might
lose my mind, strain my brain once more
causing me to have to close the door
and end this search for what i yearn
what makes my body develop and learn
I'm searching to hard, just gotta chill
the thing I've been lookin for is right here
In front of my eyes, in this place of serenity
finally reaching this spot of tranquility
Nirvanna

be honest wit ya feedback...i need all i can get....

__________________________

this poem really isnt in order and doesnt make much sense....but i wrote it sooo.....


An unique intellectual
one who observes all things.
Analyzing each situations,
uncovering the truth like its nothing.
A being who knows no bounds,
an generally skilled man all around.
Humble Merchant the lifestyle i live by,
but sky ninja is the name because of my ability to jump high.
A perfect gentlemen in all aspects,
one who respects and understands most women.
but even with these gifts to share i only want to be with one woman.
She seems to be almost perfect in my eyes,
So i feel that she must be the one for me.
I try to keep her happy but i fail so miserably,
this one has to be mystic because she has placed a spell on me.
Even though it seems im under her spell,
It appears she doesnt acknowledge me at all.
i guess she figures she has me to herself
so she can do watever she wishes and i will remain like her little pet
The sad truth is that she is gone,
Moved on in her life.
She left without me noticing
i felt that was not right
no informing me she left,
why she should be alone.
my mind is in shambles,
trapped in a isolated dark zone;
of anarchy and discord,
causing my mind to become weary and distort.
all things become uncertain and i begin to write just cause.
i guess the final conclusion is that my mind is just lost.

________________________________________


Cosmic power, mythical abilities
an untainable dream, now I'm back to reality
better than average, but not quite the best
continuous strive to be on top, my ultimate test
a battle that ensues, both mentally and physically
constantly pushing my mind and body to the limits of their abilities

At Times it feels as if i cant go on, but i still continue
telling myself i got this far, that I'm nowhere near through
exceeding my limits, doing spectacular things
classifies me as on phenominal being

The Top is getting closer now, within my eyesight
my wings are gone now tho, forbidden to achieve flight
travelling only by foot, on a quest for life
overcoming all obstacles, avoiding all strife

I'm Getting even closer now
the top is within my grasp
I'm finally here, I can rest at last
But just briefly, competition is on its way
the challenge is staying on top every second of everyday.

-the LIfe of a champion

B.jones


_______________________

well i have absolutely no way of expressing my emotions in words...so here is my only outlet in life... if i tagged u please read.. if ididnt its cuzi ran outta tags i want the world to kno my feelings....

*Thoughts*
So you avoid me cuz i love , but i have love for all.
Your hate me cuz i'm nice, cuz i want to capture ur heart.
im not like the other men, yet u group me with the rest,
because you had so many bad experiences, so many failed tests.
I try to open up, tell you how i feel.
cuz I dont hold my tongue, i just speak how i feel.
I tell you that i care for you and that you make me smile.
that you give me motivation to do great things that make my life worthwhile.
So how is it that this is wrong? how can such a confession become such sin?
how is it that a man that feels has no chance to succeed?
Maybe i should be an ass, treats all whom i care for like ones i dont.
Maybe i shuld box my heart and soul, walking around heartless and cold.
With no feelings or emotions, just an vessel migrating through life with noone to care for, noone to hold.
Why is it have to be a 'nigga' just to be with the one i love.
you tell me that im jsut too nice but its cuz i never want to hurt you.
So in order to be with one who i care for, i have to be an ass.
i have to treat u like shit at first, be da 'hood nigga' that is portrayed in society.
you tell me that im not ur type, jsut like every other, since i cant become a puppet of this world, i refuse to become apart of such ignorance.
What society deems normal for a man like me is not my lifestyle, im not conforming to the whims of mankind.
I shall continue to be 'too nice' or whatever you claim it to be.
if this means that i shall forever be lonely then thats is the way its meant to be....



*Burden*
My heart is filled, but not how i imagined.
I feel sadness, despair, depression, and pain.
the burden is unbearable, my mind is going insane.
from the stress and the anguish that burdens my heart.
Ifeel each beat becoming harder and harder, like it wants to stop.
As my soul searches for a way to relieve all the depression in my heart.
But there is no easy way, and my heart just cant stop,
though the road is unclear i cant stop just because its rocky, jagged, and sharp.
Causing each step to hurt more than the last, each wrong choice piercing my heart.
So its filled with the battle scars of a 22 year long war.
not Physically but mentally as i developed in to the man that i am.
One of intelligence, wisdom, but still lacking where it counts.
troublesome situations confront me everyday, and the first think of is the safety of others,
if the decisions i make will affect my close ones.
Saving them while hurting me it seems I will never learn.
When i try to think fo me i still hurt myself, since it has become so foreign to me.
I cant seem to think of what's best for me.
no matter how i try i fail at this task.
I look into the depths of my heart and soul and continue to ask,
For the path that best suits meand i get not response.
So i continue to do as i feel which hurts me, leaving me partial, incomplete.
maybe Im destined to be the one to take on teh pain of all others.
At the expense of there happiness i feel the pain of my sorrow.
Hidden beneath the smiles and goofiness that i portray to them so well.
THey shall never see the pain that deep inside of me swells,
and kills me on the inside still burning like an open wound.
I continue to bear it in the face of others, because if they knew my pain and sadness it would destroy my soul.
Seeing the ones i love so happy allows me to control,
and contain this pain inside this vessel of mine.
this body i have blessed with the strengh to endure the pain of all others.
So i continue to live life pleasing others, hiding the pain that cannot be seen by any other.

B.Jones

_________________________________


Thinking....Pondering…Obse

rving life...
Looking from every angle like a prism in the light.
Unexplained anomalies occur in the blink of an eye
Variables remain unknown even to a mathematician’s eye
No equations to solve, no algorithms to try out
The complexities of this issue causes my brain to overload, burn out
This usually doesn’t happen, its out of the norm
For me, a sage to become bewildered by a predicament is considered bad form
Like a fencer perfects his swordplay, so now must I perfect my own.
Instead of a sword I wield a pen, a poet’s weapon of choice
Realizing my skills aren't perfected far from where I need to be
So I continue my training to further hone my technique
Constantly writing, motivations from the depths of my soul
Keeping my thoughts all together, maintaining complete control
Wandering thru life and absorbing every new experience
Trying not to lose focus, allowing all things to make sense
Thinking…Pondering….Understanding life,
Emanating from all angles like a prism reflects the light



Shrouded in darkness, yet embracing the light.
Evading the light’s shadow, the origin of all plight.
Traversing through the underworld, yet observing the heavens.
Living a life of constant struggles while protecting all humans.
Called many names, from vigilante to hero.
Loved yet despised the life of this superhero ‘zero.’
Too afraid to show his true face, to face his own fears.
So he compensates by saving others the pain of shedding tears
By keeping them eternally happy, never sad
Converting all of the angry into the glad
But his heart still feels empty, his heart still hidden behind this thick glass
Of hatred and despair, he feels that no one should care.
Isolated and confined in his own emotions, his lonely lair.
Trapped in his mind, yet concealing it from all
Fronting a face of happiness and joy, responding to every cry, beckon, and call
This is the life of an insecure hero, one how dares not impose his life upon another
Yet he cares so much they compel him to help all others.

B.Jones

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I count down the days till my angel arrives in this land surrounding my lair
This place I live full of chaos and despair.
Where minds of evil and malice corrupt the pure and the fair.
She is the light of purity that drives away all stress and madness.
Covering me in her majestic wings cleans my heart of such sadness.
I await the return of my angel to my arms.
The one who keeps me warm and constantly safe from all harm.
Keeping me in her protective aura as if our beings were one.
If im hurt she hurt, the union of mind body and soul all in one.
I anticipate my angel’s arrival the time draws near,
The closer she gets the more she overpowers all fear.
I feel my angel is here right over my head
Keeping me happy and content, like a mother tucking a child in bed.
But my Angel is no mother nor is above my head
My angel arrive in front of me, my heart my soul, my love has arrived imp no longer sad.

Slow deep breaths are all I hear as I lay your body down on the memory foam right here.
Ever so faint is the moans u make, trying not to make a sound,
Every time I go inside you and begin to tease your body, mess with your mind.
Tight grips are all I feel as u hold on to me ever so tight,
As I continue to please your body, oh it feels so right.
Warm and wet is all what I feel as my body continues to explore your sacred grounds,
Showering me with your love as you rain tears of joy.
These sounds or love that you make need not form any words,
The language is universal when our bodies unite as one.
You need not tell me where you want it or speak of how it feels,
Our body language says it all so I know exactly how you feel.
The actions of intimacy can only be shown between us,
To express our love to each other as our bodies intertwine,
Showing each other that this feeling here is Sublime.

Enraptured by your essence, our vibes intertwine.
Tied together in this tropical jungle, our love vines.
Feeling out your frequency as I send out mine
Resonating with your soul, this feeling is one of a kind.
It can’t be explained in words or with sounds,
Rather yet we use our body language as express our love as we continue to mess around.
Time seems to stop as we explore the secrets of life,
Dwelling deep inside our bodies lays the answers to relieve all stress and strife.
We give each other energy as we traverse through each other’s souls,
Providing a never-ending passion that warms our unified bodies, blocking out the cold,
Feelings arise from our exploration, fortune finally found.
Still the exploration has yet to end
Unexplored areas need to be touched, passion still needed to expend.
Finally reaching the climax, the top of our love hill.
As you lay within my arms, my once empty soul finally becomes filled.

B.Jones
_________________________________________

The further you go away, the weaker i feel.
Your my strength, my inspiraition, my power seal.
Your my sun and my moon, my heart and my soul.
when you're not around me i feel i've lost control.
You keep conversations so short, "hi", "hey", "wassup wit u" at the most.
Guess you're always too busy, your life no longer a coast.
You continue to distance yourself, causing me unphathomable pain.
Hurting me so much, I wish it would go away.
As time continues my heart shuts down unable to deal with the strife.
I'm an empty vessel, seems u stole my energy my life.
I'm an robot, devoid from all types of emotions.
No soul in anything i do, just going through the motions.
But the reality is that i am hurt inside beyond repair,
constantly hoping that the one i love will always be there .
- truth

The first time i say you my mind went blank,
My body had a meltdown as i tried to think.
Have i ever met a woman quite like you,
one as beautiful, intelligent, unique as you.
Your Physical attraction surpasses all others,
The coke-bottled body, truly blessed by your mother.
A face so beautiful that it illuminates seperate from the rest,
and your cute, soft, and supple breast.
But just to speak of your physical beauty would insult u , do no justice.
to inform this world of the woman who has me lusting.
Your mind is on level of a sage, always staying focused,
keeping me in check when i need it the most.
And you always keep me smiling, even when you dont try.
just hearing your angelic voice makes me glad to live this life.
Even when we dont speak you stay on my mind,
the thought of your existence keeps me willing to strive,
to be the best i can be and make you proud.
Hoping one day you will accept me as the man you find worthwhile.
-hope

Never thought I'd meet someone quite like you.
I envision my other half as i look at you.
As we look stare into each other's eyes i see myself in your soul,
and i feel as if your mind is slowly taking control.
Some would call me weak for letting you be the boss;
all that means is my win, there loss.
I dont feel ashamed to shop with you
to buy your clothes and to cook you food.
I dont mind giving you massages after a long day of stress
anything to please you baby, i wouldnt do any less
Because you're my special lady and i love you
You make me feel whole, my soul brand new.
my prayers where answered when you came into my life
You're my bestfriend, mi companera for life.
at times i'm a bit immaturem cold -hearted i admit that.
I acted like i didnt care when you needed me there.
now i understand that i need you in my life but you're
so far awaylife just doesnt seem right.
the only way to express myself now is to put it in words
because im mute without you all i do is write.
-silence

I'll be your strength when you're not strong.
My shoulder always here for you to lean on.
I'm your sun whenever you wanna shine
and i brighten your nights just call me your moonlight.
Whenever your mad ill be your stress reliefm
dont hold back i can take it all please believe.
When we chill i'll make sure you feel at home,
I'm your personal service my love you're never alone.
If you ever need pleasure im here for you too,
ill do watever you feel i need to do.
I'm a renaissance man in thei new era,
a jack of all trades and im at your disposal.
I'm truly lucky to have ever met you.
I'll feel so happy if you ever chose me boo.
I'll do m best to do right in your eyes,
My heart would just stop if i had to tell you a lie.
because i just want to be honest with you till the very end
Good or bad I'll always trust your judgement.
So here is my confession, my dedication to and love to you,
The final decision is yours baby feel free to choose.
-

Eternally lonely, yet never alone.
Surrounded by people, but that special one is gone.
Eternally lonely, yet never alone.
Just wishing the one i love would return back home.
Eternally lonely, yet nerver alone.
My hear is left in darkness, only her heart can brighten my own.
Eternally lonely, yet never alone.
feels like I live a half-life whenever i stand alone.
Eternally lonely, yet never alone.
Maybe the one i'm lookin for has been here all along
Eternally lonely, yet never alone.
She could be sitting in front me and i never would have known.
Eternally lonely, yet never alone.
I hope that she confronts me and tells me she's been feeling alone.
Eternally lonely, but i feel so alone.
Until she comes and confesses, i shall never be whole.

B.Jones
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